My most recent assigned product review for EdenFantasys was the Bswish Bbold Premium vibrator, whose design and color scheme seemed oddly familiar. After a few days and some digging around in my sex toy storage boxes, I realized it was because Bbold reminded me of the Vida Zara I reviewed a couple of years ago.

Turns out, Vida Zara isn’t as big as I remembered, nor is its shape all that similar to Bbold’s, but both vibes are rechargeable, waterproof, and they think they’re much better than they really are. Zara tries to make a good impression with packaging, but I was very disappointed with its performance as a sex toy.

This was one of those vibes that I reviewed and then stored away because I didn’t think I’d ever want to use it again. But since then, my knowledge and assessment of sex toys has improved, as well as my own understanding of how my body’s sexual responses work, so I figured Vida Zara would be ideal for a Follow-Up Friday post. Besides, it’s made from hard materials which means I can’t tear it up for a What’s Inside Wednesday.

Let me just say right now that I was way too kind when I first reviewed Vida Zara. I think I was trying to be diplomatic about the 5 speeds of constant vibration that are weak, buzzy, and sound like an annoying little gnat that’s been plugged into an amplifier. There’s hardly any variance in the vibration strength, but as you up the speed the noise certainly gets louder.

…the vibrations themselves are somewhat underwhelming, and I really can’t tell that much difference in the intensity. The motor certainly gets louder and more high-pitched as you work your way through the speeds, but I don’t feel that much of an increase in strength. Also, the vibrations are a bit buzzy and can be felt all the way through the handle. Still, the Zara has the advantage of being very firm, so it’s really effective for applying pressure to the G-spot, with or without the power turned on.

I guess that was my nice way of saying Vida Zara is utterly useless as a vibrator. Seriously, just don’t even bother buying the stupid thing. I think it has been discontinued anyway, but there are a few online retailers that still have some in stock, and they are priced ridiculously high.

I spent some time playing with it so I could do this follow-up, and the vibrations are even buzzier than I remembered. Really, it reminds me of that horrible Silk Touch Egg bullet vibe that felt like it was sanding off the top layer of skin, only weaker. Inserted, I can’t even feel Zara’s vibrations inside me, but they sure as heck travel down the handle, irritating my hand and fingers.

Vida Zara‘s egg-shaped head tilts off of a short, straight shaft rather than being curved through the whole shaft, and its modest size won’t do at all for those who like to feel full. But it’s firm and can apply G-spot pressure, while also being small and lightweight enough to use for thrusting.

Now that I know more about my G-spot and how it works, I’m better able to use Vida Zara for G-spot stimulation. As long as I don’t turn it on. But I’m not likely to ever use it again for that because I have other non-vibrating dildos that hit my G-spot MUCH better.

Clinging to what I thought was good about this vibe, I possibly went overboard in my appreciation of the packaging, because in my review I also declared:

This would make an ideal present for anyone new to using sex toys, as it’s not the least bit intimidating and comes packaged ready for gift-giving.

Why the hell did I say that?! On the contrary, this would not be the ideal first vibe, because it sucks, and I’d hate for anybody to think all vibrators feel like that. Also, and I’m sorry to even bring this up because it’s gross, but all around the metallic part of the handle there’s a gap, perfect for trapping lube and other gunk, which is rather unpleasant and tricky to clean.

Now, if you’re looking for a really nice and effective G-spot vibrator in this price range, for yourself or to give as a gift, get a LELO Mona 2. It’s rechargeable, waterproof, seamless, and it has strong, rumbly vibrations with multiple patterns and settings. So it’s actually worth the price tag, especially if you can get it on sale. I recently received one to review, and while I don’t have the original Mona to compare it to, it is definitely more powerful than my Gigi and Siri.